The Rib Count

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Yes, it's an old one but a really good one. Best if you tie him/her on his/her back and stuff pillows just below the shoulder blades. This makes the ribcage protrude like nobody's business, bringing each and every single rib into delicious focus. Claim your sister told you once that men have one less rib than women because God took one out when he made Eve. Say you want to take this opportunity to do a scientific test and afterwards you'll untie him/her and let him/her go. Proceed to count slowly from the most terribly sensitive bottom ribs, taking exquisite care to press down into each rib gently with your fingernails, as well as the exploring the full length of the gap between each rib. Make a production out of saying "One!" then proceed to the next rib. At the fourth rib, say "Five" instead. Stop and look puzzled. Claim his/her laughing distracted you so much you lost count. Tell him/her not laugh this time and begin again at one. Repeat at least ten times.

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