General "Scene" Etiquette

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STANDARDS OF TICKLE ETIQUETTE

Before we chose to join the tickle “scene”, we all were first and foremost human beings. We learned that in order to survive we all had to learn to live together and be polite to and tolerant of each other. The basic standards of etiquette are the same. But, there are certain additional standards of behavior apply to tickling and other fetish parties and scene events, just as certain rules of behavior apply to events in other cultures. Many other communities in the fetish world have been around for years, and even decades. In all that time, they’ve had a lot of experience developing and growing comfortable within their own established standards of social behavior and etiquette. These standards are pretty easily adaptable and useful for the tickling community as well.

This does not mean that just by showing up in the social tickle scene, you automatically know all the standards that can be expected. Don't learn them passively; and don't expect someone to teach you. It is important for anyone coming into the social tickling scene to actively learn what is expected and acceptable. Not knowing or disregarding them can lead to negative reactions, quickly. Especially play parties often have a strict set of rules.

So how is a newbie to learn? For some alternative love-styles and fetishes, such as the SM community, there are published resources, books, seminars and support groups. Unfortunately for ticklers however, there really aren’t published manuals and guides yet on tickle party etiquette! Thankfully, there is this great forum, and there are folks who are trying to host parties around the world and to establish similar standards for all our social events. And hopefully, we hope many folks will share their own thoughts and experiences on positive social scene etiquette.

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MAKE NO ASSUMPTIONS

Do not make assumptions about anyone, you could be completely wrong. Be tolerant of alternative lifestyles and people. Intolerance and bigotry have not place in the tickling or any other fetish scene.

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FANTASY VERSUS REALITY: THE OBJECTIVE “CLASSROOM” VERSUS SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE

It's easy to build up an elaborate fantasy that doesn't really prepare us for the mundane "normal" reality of ordinary people forming real human relationships. If you are just getting involved it's good to take a low key approach.

Until then our concept of tickling is more often based on our wildest imagined fantasies, stories, and videos.

Start by finding out what's expected of you and what you can expect. Attend socials, meet people, observe, and ask questions.

Our approach to social interactions should be just as respectful and courteous as we would expect in any situation.

We do not live in the pages of a fantasy. Just because a person's scene identification may be as a tickler or ticklee, changes nothing about the dignity that should be accorded to that person as a human. Most people in the scene prefer to be approached by potential playmates as people first, not for their scene behavior.

The details of fetish etiquette are tricky and there are some uncommon etiquette delicacies there. Often, these customs are difficult to nearly impossible to get from books. You just about have to see fetish play in action to get a clue. Social tickling fetish play is just not all that clear until you see or do it. It’s way different that the fantasies and the fictions.

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PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY / SCENE “AWARENESS”

In essence, you are primarily responsible for your own self. If you are a ticklee, you do not owe anyone any deference beyond common, everyday courtesy. You are not required nor expected to bottom to every tickler in the room, or for that matter, to anyone. And this rule goes for ticklers as well as ticklees. No one, who is not your own partner, owes you anything beyond that same common courtesy.

Don't assume someone you've never meet is there for your pleasure. It dismisses the individual’s prerogative and ability to choose. Tickle bottoming is a gift. The ticklee chooses the tickler.

Don't assume that tickling is always sexual. Tickling is not synonymous with swinging, swapping, or Polyamoury -- although it's possible for it to co-exist with these lifestyles. A tickling relationship can consist entirely of kinky role playing and sex or have no sexual involvement at all. You don't have to have sex if you're playing with someone.

The whole world of tickling consists of a lot of contrasting play and relational styles. The typical motivations, expectations, and standards for some do not necessarily apply to all. There is no one true way. The closest that most of us agree on is that play should be safe, sane, and consensual.

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