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PARTY SOCIAL ETIQUETTE

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Social groups in the community who put on tickle parties, are just that, social groups. They are not dating services. Although we hope people find like minded partners at our socials we don't want to encourage a "meat market" atmosphere. If you're unconcerned in getting to know people you won't have much success finding someone to with whom to play. Can someone feel safe with a tickler who isn't interested in who they play with or their needs?

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NEW? ASK THE HOSTS

You can and should talk to the host during the party or, if more appropriate, afterwards to ask unanswered questions, say thank you, and follow up in any ways you like. Hosts want to help their guests learn and sort themselves out according to comfort levels. Hosts also want feedback so they can create a comfortable environment for enjoyable parties. If you felt uncomfortable about anything at all at the party, talking to the host afterwards is an excellent idea!

Hosts need to know about any individual you felt harassed by, or that you felt some kind of play you watched was unnecessarily risky.

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DON’T POUNCE OR HOVER

Don’t pounce as soon as you get in the door. Do not become a “vulture”. These are people who hit on every newbie who walks in the door. Getting that reputation in a small community will make you persona non grata quickly.

Do not stare or gape at people and do not follow them around through the party areas. Be aware of the concept known as "my space" - that zone around ourselves which we feel safe and sacred. Give a newcomer space to get comfortable with the group, the setting, all the new faces, before pouncing.

Don't come on too strong: There's a natural tendency to confuse the role of the tickler with "being dominant." You don't have to be over bearing to be a tickler. Neither do you have to be a welcome mat to be a ticklee. Do not come on to people in a clueless manner. Hounding, harassing, or puppy-dogging after the object of your sexual interest will guarantee that you will not be invited to any more parties; you might even be thrown out of the one you are at.

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APPROACHING AND MEETING

If you may be interested in playing with someone, approach that person in a polite and honest, up-front fashion just as you would in any polite social situation, and ask him/her. Most will answer you politely. We all tend to feel instinctively good or bad about another person almost immediately. Either our pheromones activate or we turn off. If you make a good approach and get a favorable response, great. Continue.

But, under all circumstances... no means no. If the other person isn't interested and declines; do not force the issue and ask again. don't ask why not, and don't continue to pressure. Accept no for your answer gracefully. Doing so graciously may turn that "no" into a maybe another time. Even if the tickler/or ticklee you approach spurns you, go away. Get the message before you may be asked to leave by a host or “scene monitor”. You will have other opportunities to play. Be friendly and get to know the other people a bit, share stories and background. Make friends. If the response is "maybe later", let that person decide when "later" may be. Don't come back in half an hour and say "How about now?" Doing these things will not increase the likelihood of anyone wanting to play with you, it will only lower you to the category of "pest". Don't be pushy: Don't coerce. Don't force your attentions on someone who doesn't want them. This sends a seriously bad message: No one wants to play with someone who is too pushy. Ticklees can't trust a coercive Tickler/me. If the Tickler/me won't accept a ticklee's "no" in the public setting is it likely the Tickler/me will accept the limits of an isolated, bound, defenseless submissive in bondage?

Many singles attend tickling parties, many newcomers who are desperate to be asked to play. Being in that situation can be difficult and too often leads to social blunders. Be aware, however, that experience does not equate with social graces. One will encounter more experienced players who also exhibit ill manners.

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